Facade of harbour pines heritage listed hall

February 9, 2021

The Lonely Pine
with Audrey Leuty

FEBRUARY 2021

 

NEWS FROM THE SOCIAL COMMITTEE

COMING UP

 

GAMES NIGHT Saturday February 20th from 5.00pm.  Supper of chicken nibbles and pizza served at6.30pm. This is being provided by the Social Committee and there is no charge. There will be a list in the Hall for names for catering purposes.

                                 

SATURDAY February 13th 2.00pm. Afternoon tea with your ‘hostess with the mostest Maureen.’ Starts at 2.00 pm Yummy home made scones with jam, cream etc.

 

And in MARCH the City of Geraldton  Band will play for us one evening.  Date to be advised.

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AUSTRALIA DAY

A big crowd gathered for ourAustralia Day sausage sizzle with damper. The Hall was well decorated withbanners, flags and balloons.  A welcomesurprise was the birthday cake to celebrate the special birthdays of both Peterand Marj Fitzpatrick. With family members here for the special occasion a goodtime was had by all.

 

WELCOME  it was also  a good opportunity to welcome Brian C. a new resident.  Brian is a FIFO worker and so you won’t see him around the village always: that is until he RETIRES.  We hope you will be very happy here, Brian.

 

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GUESS WHO IS COMING TO DINNER?

These are some of the suggestions of people whose after dinner conversation we think we would enjoy:-  

Twiggy Forrest, Miner. Tales of the Pilbara,

Tom Wardle, Tom the cheap grocer(remember him?)

Hugh Edwards, Diver

Shirley de la Hunty (Strickland)  Olympic Athlete

Robin Miller,  Sugar Bird Lady  (Polio)

Roger Federer, Tennis Great

John Lawson, Agriculturist with Tropical experience

Hugh Jackman Actor/Singer

Ed Ayres ABC Announcer &Writer

 

There’s room for more. No catering required. Who would you like to add to the list.

 

 

2)

HAPPY HOUR sorry folks our usual Monday Happy Hour has been a bit disrupted lately mostly due to renovations in the Hall. Business as usual soon, we hope.

 

I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, troublemaking biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. “Well,, what are you going to do about it” he says menacingly as I bury my head in my hands.

“Come on, man” he says. “I didn’t think you’d cry”  “I can’t stand to see a man cry”

“This is this is just the worst day of my life” I replied. “I’m a complete failure. I was late for a  meeting and my boss fired me. When I went back to the parking lot,  my car had been stolen  and I don’t have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found  my wife with another man…and then the dog bit me”

“So,  I came to this bar to workup the courage to end it all. I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in it and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then you show up and drink the whole damn thing.

But, Hell, enough about me. How are you doing?”.

 

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GONNA  BE A BEAR

In this life I am a woman. In my next, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you are a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that.

When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re asleep and wake to partially grown, cute , cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you are a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If  your cubs get out of hand you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you are a bear your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear!

 

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Will glass coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen.

 

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.

After they had set up their tent both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says. . “Kemo Sabe ,look towards the sky, what do you see?” The Lone Ranger replies “I see millions of stars” “What that tell you” asks Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says. “Astronomically it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it tells me it is approximately a quarter past three in the morning – theologically it tells the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically it seems to me we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What’s it tell you, Tonto?”

“You dumber than buffalo. It means someone stole our tent.”

 

The cops just left, they said “If I am going to walk around the house naked, I’ve got to do it inside”.

 

HARBOUR PINES, A GREAT PLACE TO LIVE